By Valerie Hurtinelli

New Year’s Smear brought the Derby City Roller Girls All-Stars to the Pepsi Coliseum on January 16, 2010, to take on the Naptown Roller Girls’ Tornado Sirens. The newly WFTDA-sanctioned team from Louisville, Kentucky, had veterans Lil’ Bo Teeps, Carrie A. Glock, Gretel Von Slap, Jailbreak Jenny, Kennidee Collapser, Slamas Aran, and Sweet Mama—all of whom skated on the roster in June on their home track against NRG’s B-team Warning Belles. But a majority of newcomers (including team captain Cardinal Sin, an imposing transfer from the Ohio Roller Girls) formed the DCRG team this go-around.

Even with a Colts playoff game competing for attention in Indianapolis, the NRG loyal showed up in droves to cheer on the 12th-ranked Sirens, who returned the favor by quickly racking up 37 points before DCRG could get on the scoreboard in the fifth jam. While Derby City fought for points, Naptown performed as a well-oiled blocking machine, punching out holes for the jammers, even with DCRG’s hardest hitters—Sweet Mama and Carrie A. Glock among them—putting up a fight.

One of Naptown’s smartest and most effective blockers, Cereal Killer, could be seen positioning and orchestrating the rest of the pack while 4 Leaf Cleaver set up a one-woman wall of defense at the back, her dominant positioning textbook roller derby, and her swooshing horizontal hits a thing of beauty. With the rest of the blockers in the penalty box, CK and teammate Ima Hurchu put on a heroic show of containment in their two-woman pack during Jam 9, a testament to the effectiveness of Naptown’s blocking.

Naptown jammer Blue Messiah took full advantage of the chaos in the pack, juking her way past Derby City girls in jam after jam, finally racking up a game total of 33 points—31 of those earned before the halftime buzzer sounded at Naptown 104 to Derby City 2. Sirens newcomers Racer Xtacy and Noxious Donna also turned in solid performances in their inaugural Sirens home bout, adding 26 and 14 points to the score.

The second half saw more spectacular jamming from Naptown. The seasoned Slammy Faye quietly collected the most points of any jammer on either team—57. Dora the Destroyer came in second with 37 points. DCRG struggled to get their jammers through the pack and was shut out in every jam but three. With 15 minutes left on the clock, Louisville newcomer Lil’ Rage of Sunshine wore the star panty in a low, quick 13-point jam that brought the crowd to their feet. But even that impressive performance could not pull DCRG out of a triple-digit hole.

By the final buzzer, NRG had a landslide 225 to 18 win, bringing their home season record to 3-0.

photo credit: Tom K.