Birthday: 2/21
Height: 5’5″
Hometown: Indianapolis
What position(s) do you play? Jammer, Blocker
Signature move/trademark: Wearing the same shirt to practice every day.
List of injuries from skating: My left knee is enveloped in what I like to call a “perma-bruise.”
What was your first car? Dodge Aries
What do you do for a living? Work
What are the names of your pets, and what are they? There used to be a large mouse or a small rat living in my kitchen but I haven’t heard from it in a while.
What do you like to do outside of derby? Sleep.
Were you a troublemaker as a kid? Absolutely not.
As an adult? Only when necessary.
What / who inspires you? Fear, mostly.
What is the meaning behind your derby name? Say it quickly, with the emphasis on “Hell.” I picked it because my MA is in Biblical Studies and I am known for going to church a lot.
What advice would you give to anyone looking to make it in the real world? Go to therapy.
What is your favorite inspirational quote? Inspirational quotes make me want to vomit and then throw up.
What kind of wheels do you skate on? Mojos for the practice floor. My non-sticky wheels came with my skates and no one I know has been able to discover what they are.
Tailbone protector or padded shorts? TP sometimes, but I tend to not wear it because it always pulls to the right and I spend too much time rearranging it. It’s either because of the direction of the crossovers or a difference in size between my left and right side. Or something else.
What advice would you give to someone looking to enter the world of derby? Don’t try to not embarrass yourself.
What would surprise people the most to know about you? I know a (very) dead language called Ugaritic, which some people spoke around 1300 BCE. At least I used to know it.
